The Lord Closes a Door & Will Open a Window!

Well, a few days ago I got the long awaited news. I heard from AMOR Projects. The project was not approved by the local Seventh-day Adventist (SDA) conference in Peru and therefore Kristin Eszler, Jeremy Meyer, Mindy Joshnick, Travis Bischof and I  will not get insurance through the North American Division of SDA's. Which means we would have to go independently and without the benefit of getting our loans deferred. Needless to say, I was bummed and I know everyone else was as well.

It is clear God has closed a door and now I am waiting for a gleam of hope, a window of opportunity to shine through from the Lord. Kristin Eszler and I have been talking on the phone periodically between work to encourage each other and talk of what to do now. 

Yesterday I read an email Kevin Attride sent to all 100 plus of us future student missionaries. In it he said, "the Lord inspired me to write you" and then continued to give us encouragement and urged us to pray for one another and especially for those of us that can no longer go to Peru through AMOR Projects.  I really appreciated that email and feel uplifted. Thanks, Kevin. It was neat to receive replies from other various SM's with their words of hope as well.

It is funny that now I know I will not be going to Peru with AMOR Projects that I realize more fully how much my heart was set on going! Yet, I know that Jesus has a master plan for each of our lives! "My ways are not your ways, says the Lord" and in Jerimiah 29:11, that wonderful verse I am sure we all know; "For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord...plans to give you a future and a hope." 

I need to keep on trusting in the Lord to carry me through, for everything happens for a reason. Times like these, calls for more patience and time spent on ones knees trusting the Master Life Planner.

Lord, Is That You?

     I am not sure how or when the seed for missions was planted in my heart. However, for the last year and a half or so, I have been set on going as a student missionary through Southern. I filled out an application, got a health check up, was dedicated with other students going as missionaries, and went to the exit retreat last April. Most student missionaries (SM's) left last summer whereas, I was planning to go soon after I graduated in December with my ASN and took my nursing boards. Well, the soonest I could take the National Licensing Exam for Registered Nurse's was February 11, (my Dad's birthday:), so I decided to start my Bachelor's and go this summer. 

     In the mean time I wondered, "Lord, is that you calling me to be a missionary?" Here is part of an email I sent to Bjorn Harbolt in Zambia earlier this year. "But seriously, this email you sent me today, I believe is a sign among others I've recieved lately, that I should go as an SM. I just got out of Mission Nursing class where I heard Ansley Howe share of her experience in Peru". I still have had my doubts, though I told Bjorn "every SM I've ever talked to, has not regretted going. Even at summer camp this summer, half of my friends were returning SM's"!  

     I have wanted to go to a Latin culture, learn Spanish, and serve as a nurse. There didn't seem to be very many options to for nurses in Latin America, but finally in February I received an email from Jenni Goodwin down in Peru with the Amor Projects telling me they had accepted me! Well, now on May 11, I still feel unsure about what's going on. I'm still waiting to hear if the local conference in Peru will approve of this project in order for the North American Division to ensure me while I'm there. A few weeks ago a second option opened up and Kristin Eszler and I told OCI we were interested in working with them on a medical mission boat in the same general area of Pucallpa, Peru. However, the director did not want to take nurses from the AMOR Projects. So here I am, at home in Indiana spending time with my family and getting experience as a nurse at a long-term care facility.  

     Lord, I want to serve you with all my heart and follow where ever you lead. Help me to hear your still small voice. May your will be done.